THUS SPOKE FRED: Regarding Computer Programming (Chapter 15)

Diviners and alchemists; bear no witness to your own acts for they are weak and false. Behold the programmer! His logic is truth and his appearance is priest like.  For his hands are clean and his robes are brilliant. The three kings of object oriented are.

Fred had missed all the downsizing because of a fortuitous decision to take a walk. The soothsayers no longer wished to own a caravan. Upon realizing this Fred strolled over to the east side of his mountain summit. Normally this valley would be bound by fog and nothing would be seen. However, on this cold clear day all could be observed. As he gazed downward into the eastern valley he saw the kingdom of the Count of Computing. This kingdom, from where Fred could view it, was neat and organized methodically.

Fred walked down the forest path and by midday was near enough to watch the subjects of the kingdom. Not wishing to modify their behavior by his presence he stood at the edge of the shadowed forest. For several days he monitored the movements of the populace.

Every morning the first thing that each subject did was to put on his or her boots. After booting up each one of them engaged in house keeping chores. The first chore was to check their memory by comparing it to known truths. Secondly they would divide their household into a variety of spaces. These spaces were set aside for things like storage, normal every day activities, special tasks to be executed, and areas where other inhabitants could exchange information with them. Interpretation of other tongues was a very common activity. In this kingdom all languages were welcome even though there was a national language.

A decade and half again had passed since Fred had met the first creator; Archie. He thought of the day he met Archie in the land of thermosetting, thermoplastics, polymers and resins. Fred often wondered what Archie’s fate had been. Do creators become rewarded or do creators become forgotten? It would appear that those who write are both rewarded and live on in glory or infamy; but they do live on. Those who do not write or leave tangible creations are forgotten. As he watched the beings in the Kingdom of the Count of Computing he could not help comparing them to the possible fate of Archie.

In thine haste to accept the previous axiom do not be fooled into believing that all scribers will become remembered. There are those who write in languages not spoken by normal beings.

Let it be written on the sacred tablets that those who write plays and scenes to be acted out by computers will be forgotten, for this is writing that few will see. No matter how brilliant, no matter how creative, no matter how clever, no matter how efficient; these writings will be lost. No dead sea scrolls are they!

Early man hews. Later man smelts. Modern man conquered. Recent man electrifies. Post-modern man programs. Voice recognition invites sloth and decay. Future man only speaks. Will he become underman?

The son of future man, once more, only hews. No one is remembered. Then smelting is reborn. Conquerors are reborn. Libraries are rediscovered. Man once again masters electricity. His son finds magnetic mediums. The misery of postmodernism is now, for the second time, suffered through.

Thus thinketh Fred

Finally Fred exited from the shade of the forest and stood in a clearing. He soon had the attention of the populace of the Kingdom of the Count of Computing. In a loud voice for all to hear he said:

“O my brethren in FORTRAN, forget not Pascal either. Believers in APL, honor matrix algebra in its twilight as an idol. Users of 360 Assembler, scribe the honors of it as the basis for your beliefs. Speakers of tongues, continue your confusion with JCL. For ye do not believe in the Church of the Assembly of Microprocessors. Who would expect you to, my brethren? For it is the future and you are mired in the status quo. It is the future and you are not oriented toward objects. You move incrementally in decades; 360 to 370.”

Thus spoke Fred


About Waldo "Wally" Tomosky

I am proud of my work life (not the jobs, just the work).  Bait monger  Lawn mower  Paper boy  Windshield cleaner in a drive-in theater (if you don't know what a drive-in theater is there is no sense in you reading any farther)  Snack shack janitor in a drive in theater (ditto for drive-in theater)  Milling machine clean-up boy in a tool and die shop  Plastic injection press operator  Centurion in the US Army  Factory hand  Apprentice boy  Tool and die maker  Software user manual writer  Computer programmer  Ex-patriate par excellence  Engineering manager  Software test manager  Retiree  University administrator  System analyst  Retiree (2nd try)  Licensed amateur paleontologist  Retiree (3rd try)  Shovel bum (archaeology)  Retiree (4th try)  Delivery driver  Retiree (5th try)  Graduate student (skipped AA and BA due to the level of difficulty)  Retiree (finally got the drift of it) I have been writing for fourteen years and have fifteen books on Amazon/Kindle. Some horror, some twisted, some experimental, some essay and a few historical. I think that now I will really, really, really retire and just write. Lets see if I can do retirement correctly this time!
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